Not alone
by H-A-R-U-K-A-L-Y-N-N
Summary: Kagome leaves the group because of all the pain cause by InuYasha...read what happens. My first fic.


Kagome had left the group one night, not even telling anyone where she went. All she left was a peice of paper that said 'read on a full moon'. For some reason they knew why she put that. Anyways, InuYasha was feeling gilty and wanting to read the note, Sango, Shippo and Miroku missed her. They were on thier way back to Kaedes village, when it was getting dark. They stopped to rest a long the way. That night happened to be a new moon. InuYasha took out the note and sat up in a tree.

He slowly opened the letter, his heart racing ninty to nothing. He opened the letter to see his name printed in bold letters. He read further in the note. He couldnt beleive what he was reading. He jumped out of the tree and gave the note to Sango and Miroku. Sango took the note and started to read it. She read it aloud. "InuYasha, if you are reading this, it either means it's a new moon or your curiosity got the best. Anyways, I couldn't stay because I can't bare the pain of all the stuff that has happened. I don't want you to look for me. All I can tell you is that I will be ok, and that it's hard to imagine me without you, but I'm going to manage, Kagome." She put the note in her lap and looked at InuYasha. He looked hurt. She stood up to talk to him but he turned away and walked into the woods.

On his walk, the only thing he could think about was Kagome. He didn't know what he was going to do without her. Since their journy started together, they became close, they became even closer when Shippo, Miroku, and Sango joined thier group. Somewhere deep in his heart he loved Kagome, but he still loved Kikyo. It was hard enough to see Kikyo almost everywhere they went. After awhile, he made it to the Bone Eaters Well. He sat down beside it, debating to go to Kagomes era to bring her back, but the thought was interrupted when he heard Kagomes voice say his name. He got up and seen Kagome standing infront of him. "Kagome" He said. She didn't say anything. He walked over to her and pulled her into a hug. "Kagome, I thought you were gone for good." He said. She pulled herself away from him. "I can't." She said. He looked at her confusingly. She didn't say anything, she turned and ran. Since InuYasha was in his human form he couldn't catch up to her. When she was out of sight, he walked back to where he and the others were.When he got to them, he went to a tree and sat down. He was mad.

Early in the morning, InuYasha and the others got up and went into the village. They went into Kaedes hut and greeted her. When InuYasha finally got in the hut, she handed him a note. It was from Kagome. He opened it and read it aloud. "As the days pass slowly and the weeks creep by, I find myself obsessing about ways I could die. I lay awake at night thinking of my pain. There's no way it can get better; I have nothing left to gain. Suddenly thoughts of death are controlling my every move, and every battle with my mind I always seem to lose. I no longer want to be around the people that I love. All I can think about is whats waiting up above.I cut my arms with razor blades to dull the pain inside, but that can only last so long, I don't want to be alive. I manage to keep my composure when people are around, they wouldn't understand me so I dont make a sound. I smile when I have to, I break down when I don't. I know I should be strong but I also know I wont.So I plan to take some pills, it shouldnt take too long. I write out notes to all my friends to read when I'm gone, I ask you to understand that lifes just too hard my mind can't fight it anymore; my heart is far too scarred." He put the note in the fire and stood up. Kagome walked in and saw every one sitting around looking shocked. InuYasha grabbed Kagome by the arm, pushed her sleeve up and looked at all the cuts on her arm. "Why?" He asked. She pulled her arm back and looked around the room. She pushed her sleeve to cover her arm and turned her back to everyone. "I..I..I can't." She said and started to walk out the door but InuYasha grabbed her arm. She stopped and turned toward him. "Would you stop saying that you cant and just say it?!" He yelled at her. She looked down to the ground. "I want to die, InuYasha, is that too much to ask for?" She asked. Sango got up, walked over to her and out her arms around Kagome. "Why do you want to die?" Sango asked her. Kagome didn't say a word. "Please Kagome." Sango said looking into her eyes. Kagome pulled herself away from Sango and ran as far as she could make it. Unfortunately, she didn't make it very far because InuYasha stopped her.

"Kagome." He said. "Don't." She said. "Let me talk to you." He said. "There's nothing to talk about, it's all predictable." She said with tears in her eyes. InuYasha walked over to her. She took a step back and backed into a tree. "NO!" She screamed. InuYasha stopped dead in his tracks. Kagome ran and ran while she was cutting her self where ever she could. Arms, legs, and so on to dull her pain inside. InuYasha ran after her. He could smell her blood. He kept smelling more and more as more time went by. Kagome finally stopped by a river. She took a few steps into the river and looked at her reflection._ 'What am I doing to myself?' _She asked. Then from the corner of her eye, she saw Kikyos soul collectors. She got out of the river and sat on the bank out of sight. Then she heard InuYasha come from the woods. "Kikyo-" He said looking on the other side of the river, _'He has already forgotten about me.' _she said to herself. She listened to what they were saying, even though she knew it was going to cause her more pain than she already had. "inuYasha," Kikyo started. "Why are you here?" He sighed. "I was looking for something." He replied. Kagome put her hands over her ears so she wouldnt hear anymore, but she quickly removed them. "What is it you were looking for?" Kikyo asked. Kagome heard footsteps getting closer to the river. "Its not important." He said. With this, Kagome stood up walked closer to were InuYasha could see her and she stood there. He didnt even notice her standing there, but Kikyo did. She used it to her advantage. "InuYasha, I love you." She said and looked at Kagome from the corner of her eye. Kagome was shaking her head. "I lo--" That was all he could say because Kagome interrupted him. "I'm always going to be second choice arent I?!" She screamed. She had blood dripping down her arms and legs. She held out her arm and stuck the razor blade to her skin. "The scars reminded me that the past is real, I do this to make me feel better, to make the pain go away," She started. InuYasha was shocked. He looked were Kikyo was and she had already disappeared. "All these scars will one day have a deeper meaning." She said starting to press the blade into her skin. InuYasha walked toward Kagome who was pressing the blade further into her skin with every step he took until he stopped. "Why are you doing this to me?" She asked. He didnt answer. She fell to her knees crying. She dropped the blade and looked at InuYasha who was walking closer to her. "I was going to tell Kikyo that I dont love her anymore," He said taking Kagomes chin in his hand. "I found someone who loves me for me and not who they want me to be." Kagome smiled at him. "I..I..I dont want to be this way anymore, I dont want to be broken, I don't want to be alone." She said. InuYasha pulled her into a hug. "You're not alone, not anymore."


End file.
